Lily
Lily is my hallmate from college! She is someone who is so biblically wise, full of life, and creative. I have loved getting to learn from her! She is going to be sharing a word God has put on her heart, so sit back as you read a piece of Lily’s story!
I love a good rom-com. I hate to admit it, but I really am a sucker for the classic, predictable, Hollywood love story. I like the sweet romantics at the beginning of the relationships; I like the drama as emotions begin to run high and misunderstandings abound. But most of all, I like that these picture-perfect narratives always have happy endings. When a couple defies the odds and ends up together despite some momentous obstacle, I feel reassured about the power of love. There’s a little girl inside of me who delights in the romance, who desires to be wooed and pursued, and who clings to a hope that this fairytale is real and waiting for her.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. The rom-com culture is alive and well in postmodern America as people yearn to dream of some deeper fulfillment. The media fills our minds with “Bachelor-Nation,” Taylor Swift lyrics, sparks fly, love-at-first-sight scenarios that feed our hunger for drama, and trivialize our innate need for intimacy. “Love” has become a cheap joke. Satan has twisted a wonderful gift from the Father, selling us a trashy imitation of love again and again.
And yet, I really have fallen in love, like for real.
I don’t say this to add my voice to the long list of people who preach, “Love really is out there. You just have to be patient…Believe in the power of love…” etc. Frankly, these types of comments make me sick because they’re over-used clichés meant to numb the hearts of those who feel unloved. I also do not share my story to toot-my-own-horn, to imply that I have somehow earned love because of the unique qualities that only I have to offer. No. I am undeserving, inadequate, and flawed. My love story is a testament to the power and heart of God alone. In fact, this love has done more to painfully expose the vast extent of my brokenness than it has ever done to boost my ego.
I’m in love with a boy, but this love story isn’t about him. Before this boy ever came on the scene, Jesus got a hold of my heart. I fell for my Savior. Our sweet Father met me in the deepest corners of my soul, teaching me what intimacy is all about. Now please don’t make this weird with all that “Jesus is my boyfriend stuff.” Nope, none of that here;) It’s bigger than that! The Lord, Yahweh, King of Kings, Creator of the Universe was my first love, a love deeper and wider than any human relationship. My Savior became higher in my heart than any boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. He was the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End, my end-all-be-all, my everything. Then: enters boy.
This boy was great, really the best. He pursued me right and protected my heart. He adored all that I was and encouraged me to be my best. He loved Jesus well and helped me to love Him better too. Falling for this boy was easy. But fast-forward to missed job opportunities, chaotic family dynamics, long-distance fallouts, disappointments, broken trust, financial difficulties, poor communication, etc.; gradually, trials clouded the joys of falling in love. Hearts were tired and emotions muddled. We both knew there was good within our love, but without the giddy emotions to fuel us, our love felt stale.
We began to discover the realness and truth of 1 Corinthians 13 for ourselves:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
In short, love is not dependent on the ever-changing whims of emotions. Real love is strong, stable, and powerful. It is fought for. Real. Love. Never. Fails.
I thank Jesus that He allowed me to experience these truths through a human relationship because my love for Him has been fortified. I have a deeper understanding of what it means to ABIDE. No longer is my love for the Lord emotionally driven, prone to change with the seasons. Rather, I remain in Him through a conscious choice, through a fight. Again and again, in John 15, Jesus tells us to ABIDE, to REMAIN, to STAY in Him. This command is a call to battle, a commission to fight. The world seeks to pull us away from the Vine by continually offering flashy sideshows that appeal to our fleshly desire for emotional stimulation. We tell ourselves that if we watch this new show if we take this vacation if we associate with these people if we have these material goods or look this way or go to this school (you name it), we’ll feel better. Often, the devil’s promptings to fall away from the Vine are subtle and we don’t even notice them - like the gratification we get when we engage in some “harmless” gossip, or the creeping and ever-present thoughts of comparison that haunt us as we scroll on our phones. So we see that to ABIDE is to FIGHT. To ABIDE is to opt for the good things even when every ounce of your humanness is screaming for a vice. To ABIDE is to choose to love even when you don’t feel like it.
The song Sails by Pat Barrett has been my anthem lately. There’s a line that hits me like a truck every time: “falling is easy, but staying in love is hard.” I see this truth so present in my love with that boy (who, btw, I think will be my husband someday…woot woot!) but I see it even more clearly in my love with Jesus. It’s easy to love Jesus in the midst of a fire worship service or when that one verse just slaps. But what about when your world comes crashing down? What about when it feels like He’s far, far away and He doesn’t see you or care? What about in the little moments when you’d rather fill your time with distractions rather than being still before Him because you’ve decided it’s safer to be numb than to be real? What then?
Even then, He says: ABIDE.
That’s what you won’t see in the rom-coms…people choosing to love even when their hearts aren’t in it. It’s SO countercultural to choose a 1 Corinthians 13 love because it will defy all of our natural human tendencies. And yet, Jesus promises that the very thing we resist will be the only thing to bring us ultimate fulfillment. “ABIDE in my love,” He says, “so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be FULL.”
My prayer: Jesus, teach me to STAY IN LOVE.
♡ Lily
Lily is 19 years old. She is a Colorado gal through and through. She loves Parmesan cheese and is the worst at staring contests ;)
Follow Lily on Instagram @ _liliana_grace_
